YOU KNOW YOU’RE FROM ARIZONA WHEN. . .

1. You can say Hohokam and no one thinks you’re making it up.

2.You no longer associate rivers or bridges with water.

3.You know that a “swamp cooler” is not a happy hour drink.

4.You can contemplate a high temperature of 120 degrees as “not all that bad, after all it’s a dry heat.”

5.You know that you can make sun tea outside faster than instant tea in your microwave.

6.You have to run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so that you can use your fireplace.

7.The water coming from the “cold” tap is hotter than that from the hot” tap.

8.You can correctly pronounce the following words: “Saguaro”, “Tempe”, “Gila Bend”, “San Xavier del Bac”, “Canyon de Chelly”, “Mogollon Rim”, “Cholla”, and “Tlaquepacque”, “Ajo”.

9.It’s noon on a weekday in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one single person is moving on the streets.

10.Hot air balloons can’t fly because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.

11.You buy salsa by the gallon.

12.Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and 100 paper bags.

13.You think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever.

14.Most of the restaurants in your town have the first name “El” or “Los.”

15.You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.

16.You can say 115 degrees without fainting.

17.Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.

18.People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.

19.You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.

20.The pool can be warmer than you are.

21.You realize Valley Fever isn’t a disco dance.

22.People with black cars or have black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.

23.You know better than to get into a car/truck with leather seats if you’re wearing shorts.

24.Announcements for Fourth of July events always end with “in case of monsoon…”

25.You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time

26.You can say “haboob” without giggling.

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Rockin the triple chin today.

Rockin the triple chin today.

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#allweneedislove #lovewins

#allweneedislove #lovewins

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Who me?

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#parkingishard

#parkingishard

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#dontbeajerk #bereal #humblevia @padgram

#dontbeajerk #bereal #humblevia  @padgram

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Silly Human…

Here is what is going on in the head of the dolphins. “squeek, squeek, squak” Thanks to years of college I can translate for you. They are saying “Silly human, now get in the water so we can molest you, <wink, wink>”

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I want one night with this man…

Jon Stewart is above and beyond the greatest man in the world. I just want to have dinner with him and talk about everything. For like an hour. Then I can go home and think of the 10,000 other things I wanted to talk to him about. This is who I want as a president, not just another white man, but a man who thinks about everything and does so with humor and grace.

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My two cents…

It wasn’t an accident. It was premeditated. It was TERRORISM! We need to stop sugar coating these shootings just to appease gun owners. You can own guns, you can use guns. But we, as a nation, need to step up an realize there is problem. That people who have no right using a gun, can get a hold of guns. We need to stop placing blame, and we need to find solutions, solutions that protect us all.

But more importantly, we need to stop saying “that’s racist” when we call someone black or white. It is more than just a race issue, it is an issue where our leaders need to stop looking out for businesses, and start looking out for the people that elected them. All of the people who elected them not just the ones who paid the most money. People joke that our founding fathers would be upset over having a black president. I think they would be much more upset that corporations are considered people and people are starving and dying because elected officials can’t find a way for their friends to make a profit off it.

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This wasn’t just an attack on one church with a black congregation, it was an attack on all Americans. Not because it was a white man shooting yet another black man. No, it is because, we are so accustomed to shootings now, especially of blacks, that our elected officials and those running for office are more concerned with finding someone to blame or completely removing the blame from the true problem.

Fuck it! I am saving my money for a move to Mars. Maybe they have some clue on how to treat people. At least when they are done with us, they bring us back.

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#alamode

#alamode

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